Winning the lottery would destroy me.

Today was grueling. 

Washing, priming, painting the entrance and upstairs hallway, putting up curtains, replacing toilets, filing down end caps on counter tops, and cleaning up Christmas stuff. It was a very busy day, and I'm physically exhausted to the point that typing this I'm having to take breaks. This exhaustion comes with a sense of accomplishment though, something that I wouldn't have believed before experiencing it.

I've told Kari since I've know her that I (jokingly) feel that God is calling us to win the lottery. So we've talked numerous times about how we would spend the money, who would get what, and what we would leave for our kids. We both agreed to spend money only on necessities and give the majority of it away to friends to pay off debt, family members and charities we think deserve it more than we do. All well and good I realize but I think this line of thought leads us to a negative place.

If I never had to work for anything or struggle to achieve a goal I would end up an entitled jerk. I've seen it happen multiple times on my birthday. I never deserved presents, not at any point during my life(neither did you by the way). In fact there were years where I probably should have given presents to my parents for putting up with me. I would get a new Lego set and immediately lord it over everyone I possibly could. I would run around to neighborhood friends with my newly assembled sub/castle/star ship/moon-rover-with-attached-landing-pod-and-moon-rock-grabbing-claw and make them as jealous as possible since I was the only one on our street with such awesome stuff and they were beneath my status as "Lego Lord". 


I wonder what would become of me if I won 500 million dollars.


My guess is that I would spend it all and end up destitute like the majority of lottery winners. 

Culturally though I think my birthday example is happening quite a bit today. I have students at Church and Young Life who believe the world owes them something good. That they should receive the same sort of treatment that someone who wins the lottery receives. That regardless of their grades, their achievements, their skills or abilities they should receive the same shot as everyone else. 

Unfortunately that is just not the case and leads to what I'm calling an "if only" culture. 

"If only" I won the lottery
"If only" I got good grades
"If only" that girl/guy liked me
"If only" my parents were still together
"If only" I looked like her/him

This is a dream world. 

It's a dream world that leads to depression, bitterness, suicide, anger, and immense pain. 

The main problem with "if only" culture is that it never ends. There is always going to be something else that will sneak up and become a new fascination, a new "if only". What happens if I DO somehow end up looking like Hugh Jackman with my shirt off? What will replace that hole I was trying to fill? Money? Women? Status? It's this endless spiral of needing more and more and more to compensate for the actual hole that is burning inside of us. This search for things to fill us is only fueled by media like Pintrest, Facebook, and Twitter. 

Let's take Pintrest for example. People make boards simply to add items they one day maybe hopefully if they get lucky will own/make/dress like. There is this immense danger inherent in the creation of Pintrest. It create a fantasy world for people to invest in, which they most likely won't fulfill.

If you look at perfection every day but never see it in yourself you're missing the greatest truth the world has to offer. Don't. miss. it. 

Genesis 1:27 "So God created mankind in his own image,

    in the image of God he created them;

    male and female he created them."

Genesis 1:31 "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good"

So what?

What can you do? What can you as a teenager/parent/young professional do to combat "if only" culture? 

Be yourself - put down your phone, the controller, your tv remote and have a conversation with the people around you. Ask hard questions and don't accept the standard "good, fine, ok" answers. Encourage often, love well, wake up early, take walks, invite friends over, laugh, remember you are part of a community of people - you are not alone!


And if all else fails, shake it out.

Take it All

Recently Kari and I were sitting at home scrolling through the different television shows on Hulu Plus. Since we don't really have cable this is our means of interacting with shows people watch on a regular basis. The only difference is that we often view the shows a year or more after they go on the air, oops. While scrolling Kari stopped on a television show called "Take it All" and expressed she had seen a small portion of the show previously and it might be entertaining, so we put it on. An hour later I found myself in such emotional and physical anguish I wanted nothing to do with television ever again.

The premise of "Take it All" is very simple. You pick random prizes from a screen, they are revealed and have an unknown value, and the person at the end of each round with the lowest costing item is eliminated. It becomes less simple when you learn you can steal your fellow contestants prizes and force them to take a random prize from the "dream screen".

So Kari and I watched this process go on until only two contestants were left. At this point the contestants enter into the "Prize Fight". They are presented with two options in front of them, either "Take it All" or "Split It". The catch is that if both contestants pick "Take it All" they both get nothing, if only one of them picks "Take it All" that person takes everything, and if they both hit "Split It" they retain their own items accumulated during the game.

In the episode we watched a man who spent time volunteering to be a mall Santa lost to a woman who claimed she needed books for her classroom. The $420,000 she won will buy her a lot of books for sure, but I have a feeling the $300,000 she would have won if she selected "Split It" would have bought quite a few books as well.

I was devastated. My heart simply could not take the blow of what occurred or the realization of what the show was actually all about. Kari and I were entertained by other peoples pain and misfortune. I was offended beyond words and spent the better part of the day reeling from this woman's decision to take everything from someone else.

The last couple of days while I've been trying to process how something like this could be entertainment I've been bombarded with other examples of the same thing. Shows like Funniest Home Videos, Big Brother, Survivor, Design Star, Amazing Race, and American Idol are based upon watching people fail or lose some contest. Most of the time I've seen these shows the people who lose rush off in tears to be consoled by friends or family because they're in such pain. Series like CSI, Law and Order, Chicago Code, The Wire, and Dexter bring fictional stories to life but are centered upon the death of a person or persons.

What is our fascination with these types shows and why are we as a society drawn into them?

As believers we are called to be agents of restoration in our world. I wonder what our response to television should be. I can't wrap my brain around this whole thing. I've been sitting here frustrated and angry that I've allowed myself to be sucked into something so detrimental to my own well being. I'm numb to so much of this stuff I've had to think and rethink everything I watch.

How can I engage a culture that so quickly snares and pulls at me?

I'm left hoping the pain doesn't go away, that I'm still as shocked and dismayed about seeing entertainment at others misfortune a year from now as I am this moment.


I just don't get it.

I'm going to need some help.