Lola

This is Lola. Lola is an 80 pound American Bulldog. She loves people food and eating couches. She barks when she sleeps and spends most of her time lying around. She is very moody. This is her in diva mode.

Kari got Lola as a puppy before I met her. Kari raised her, trained her, fed her, played with her, and bathed her(sometimes) before I came into the picture. When we got married two and a half years ago Lola became my dog as well. At least that's what I thought. It turns out that even though Kari and I agreed to love, cherish, and honor each other Lola made no such agreement. In fact there are times where I'm pretty sure Lola is upset with Kari for making the dumb decision to marry me. Especially when it comes to the sleeping arrangements.

When I mentioned that she's moody I meant it. You can try all you want to not be bothered by the cold shoulder she gives when you don't give her enough attention. It won't work, you'll beg her to look at you, and then she's won. Game over. You are puddy in her paws at this point. Enjoy the next two hours of play time you've given to making her happy. I'm convinced she learned these tactics from Kari(Just kidding Kari, you're wonderful)

Photo Evidence:

No pictures... please.

Over the years I've gotten used to the fact that Kari is Lola's favorite. When the two of us come home I get a courtesy sniff and Kari gets the tail wagging waddle and kisses session. If the two of us are calling to her I know without a shadow of a doubt who she is going to go to. Just so you know, it's never me. It's not like Lola dislikes me by any stretch, I just haven't put in the same amount of time/effort. I wasn't the one who took care of her when she couldn't take care of herself, fed her when she didn't have anything to eat, or taught her to sit and lay down. 

Kari is, and always will be, her favorite. 

I've learned a lot from Lola in the past three years. Most of these things have to do with how I perceive the world around me. For instance I've discovered through her that I hate being inconvenienced. The sound of her whining to go outside or barking to come back in is grating to my ears. I continually say things to her like "But you were just outside!" or "Can't it wait till I'm done with this email/game?" For some reason those responses don't get through to her very well. 

As a side note: I've also learned that dogs do not in fact, speak English, despite everything I learned from Anchorman. Curse you Baxter!

Side note two: I fear that babies will not speak English either. If that's true I'm not sure how the baby fantasy football league I want to set up with my friends who have their own babies will work out. 

The biggest lesson Lola has taught me reinforces Young Life's idea of "winning the right to be heard". When I first met Lola she spent the entire time on alert making sure I wasn't doing anything sketchy with Kari. In fact to this day when Kari and I hug each other she sticks her entire body in between us and whines if we don't let her. As time went on though I saw Lola getting used to my being around. We developed a relationship that slowly became normal.

"Winning the right to be heard" is the idea that kids need to know why you're spending time with them before they care what you're saying. They are immediately on alert when social norms are broken. I can guarantee you its not normal for a 27 year old guy with a beard to walk into a high school cafeteria and sit down for lunch with 16 year olds who don't have peach fuzz yet. The great thing about ministry though is that if you're persistent things change over time. I've spent the last four and a half years spending time with the same group of high school guys. I pursued the heck out of them in 7th and 8th grade. Today I get phone calls/texts from them without having to be the one always on the phone. I'm blessed to share my life with them.

One of the best parts of doing relational ministry is you sometimes get to experience moments like this:

Except, you know, with humans.

Transformational, not Transactional

I have a favorite gas station. It's the Speedway on the corner of Leonard and Michigan. You can't miss it. It has a terrible parking lot, is always congested, and I often have to wait to get gas there. It also experienced a breakdown of the pay at the pump system that forced people to pay inside the gas station. I love it there.

I love it because of the people who work there. When the pay at the pump system broke down I was forced inside to pay for my gas. The first time I made my way up to the window I was greeted by a woman who asked how I was doing, and what my plans were for the day. I was genuinely upset. How could this woman expect me to answer such silly questions when I was being terribly inconvenienced? Didn't she know I was late for a meeting and was only coming inside because SHE broke the gas pump I was using? She apparently didn't care about my dilemma and after I mumbled a response of "good... nothing" continued to chat at me until my card processed and I walked out of the store angrier than I could understand. 

I realized this women was living a very different life than me. I spend a lot of time with high school students investing in them. Sometimes this investment turns into some great actions, and sometimes there isn't any response. I'll admit that I get disappointed when I hear stories about students that make poor choices. I often think "Oh man. Did they listen to anything I said?" or "We covered that last week!". In cases like this I view ministry like math where X is my effort, Y is the message, and T is the youth. I want it to work like this:

X(Y) + T = Christian lifestyle

But people don't work like math problems. Especially during a time in our history when people are more and more interested in living outside of social norms. That's a topic for another day though.

I often live a transactional lifestyle. I walk around looking to fulfill people's needs while fulfilling my own. During this process I try and avoid any unnecessary time or effort. Most people operate in this world. They want to get through the day without opening themselves up too much to outside forces while accomplishing their checklist of tasks.

A transformational lifestyle on the other hand revolves around living like each moment of our lives could cause change or growth in the people around us. It's showcased in the cashier from Speedway choosing to ask me what I was doing with my weekend instead of asking for cash or credit. It's visible in schools when students ask the "How are you?" question and care enough to go beyond the "ok" and "good" answers.

I am challenged to live this life on a daily basis by the words of Paul in the book of Ephesians 4:1 - "As a Prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." We are called to live transformational lives in all things, whether that is getting gas, fixing a toilet, or ministering to youth in our church. We add so much value to each other when we live this sort of life.

How can you be transformational in the life of your _________ today?